By Caroline Hatfield (ATCQA-certified Tai Chi Instructor – Level III)
I never expected that ancient practices like Tai Chi and Qigong would become my lifeline, my anchor, and ultimately, my purpose. My name is Caroline Hatfield and my story is one of struggle, resilience, and transformation. Through Tai Chi and Qigong, I found a way to heal—not just my body, but my mind and spirit as well.
A Turning Point: Discovering the Healing Power of Qi
For most of my life, I was ungrounded. I was born with mild autism and always felt unmoored. Later in life, schizophrenia took me through episodes of psychosis, homelessness, and moments of feeling entirely disconnected from reality.
The world seemed chaotic and my mind even more so. It wasn’t until I stumbled onto Tai Chi—at first as a means to quit smoking—that I discovered the healing power of Qi, the life force energy flowing within all of us.
The first time I practiced, I remember feeling something shift. My breath, my mind, and my body relaxed. I had found wonder. I felt present. Tai Chi wasn’t just about movement; it was about finding stillness in motion, balance in disorder. It gave me a sense of control that autism and schizophrenia never let me have.
Grounding Through Tai Chi
Even when not in periods of psychosis, schizophrenia has an uncomfortable way of making you feel like you’re unguided through life, confused, separated from yourself, and detached from the earth. I felt like I could not get home. Psychosis gives you PTSD. Tai Chi brought me back. It grounded me, teaching me how to root my feet into the ground and stand tall despite the storms in my mind.
I remember practicing under the guidance of my Sifu, Kam Yuen, in 1988. From the beginning, I loved it, even though it was, without doubt, challenging at first to get the right stepping and movements. Could something as simple as moving my hands and shifting my weight really make a difference? But I committed to the practice and something miraculous happened—I started to feel whole. I had always felt like half.
I learned how to align my breath with my movements, to focus my mind, and to release tension I didn’t even realize I’d been holding. As I became grounded, I found stability. Anxiety became more manageable. Tai Chi wasn’t just exercise—it was medicine for my soul.
The Role of Movement in My Healing
Through Tai Chi and Qigong, I discovered the profound connection between movement and healing. The slow, deliberate motions helped me to:
- Discover calm and stillness inside, relieving feelings of chaos—all I had ever known.
- Reduce stress and anxiety, giving my nervous system a much-needed reset.
- Improve my energy flow, offering this tired soul an awakening toward finding inner balance.
- Enhance my mental clarity, making it easier to navigate daily challenges.
- Strengthen my immune system, because a healthy mind and body are deeply connected.
Each practice session became a lesson in resilience. I learned to embrace my body and trust in my ability to heal. Tai Chi and Qigong weren’t cures, but they were the key to managing both my autism and the effects of schizophrenia, and, ultimately, to reclaiming my life.
Finding My Purpose Through Teaching
As I gained confidence, I realized that Tai Chi and Qigong had given me something I never thought I’d have—a purpose. I began sharing my story at National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) meetings, offering hope to families of loved ones battling mental illness. I saw the impact that sharing my journey and offering insight on what illness is like from the “inside looking out” had on others and it inspired me to take it further.
My mother, who had been a guiding force in my life, taught self-esteem classes and I found myself following in her footsteps. I also taught a self-esteem workshop, but to my peers; my workshop was for people struggling with mental illness. As I taught them, they nicknamed me “grace under fire.” They touched my heart.
I slowly began teaching the very practices that had saved me.
Tai Chi and Qigong had not only healed me, they gave me the tools to help others heal as well.
Bridging Ancient Wisdom with Modern Healing
Science is finally catching up to what I experienced firsthand—Tai Chi and Qigong have measurable benefits for mental, emotional, and physical health. Studies show that they:
- Reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
- Improve motor function in neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson’s.
- Lower blood pressure and enhance cardiovascular health.
- Increase mindfulness and emotional regulation.
These practices are more than just movements; they are a bridge between ancient wisdom and modern healing, offering a path to those seeking balance in their lives.
A Lifelong Journey of Growth
I’ve come to realize that healing is not a destination but a continuous journey. Tai Chi and Qigong are not just practices for me—they are lifelines, guiding me through the ups and downs of life.
“Once a growing person, always a growing person,” I remind myself. As my Tai Chi and Qigong practices evolve, so do I. Without a focus, it’s easy to feel lost. But with these arts, I’ve found direction, purpose and a sense of inner peace I never thought possible.
Embracing My Journey and the Healing of Qi
For anyone struggling—whether with mental illness or mild autism, such as myself, or with stress, distress, unhealth, or physical pain—I encourage you to explore Tai Chi and Qigong. These arts have given me strength, confidence, and a life to cherish. They have shown me that healing is possible, even when the road seems uncertain.
My journey is ongoing and I embrace it with open arms. Tai Chi and Qigong have become my compass, guiding me toward balance, self-discovery and a deeper connection to the world around me. If I can find healing through these practices, so can you.
